A little lateral thinking
by Damocles and Everto
Summary: “It is no use, Seven. This is a paperweight. It is a paperweight, which has a crudely sketched representation of Xigbar attached to it but it is still a paperweight.” Slightly Saïx x Xemnas . The results of Saïx's efforts to explain to Xemnas.


"Xemnas, please try."

"This exercise is pointless, Seven. It is a paperweight. Pure and simple."  
"Superior, please- try to take it at face value; for the purpose of this discussion, it is Xigbar."

"…It is a paperweight, Saïx."  
"Yes, I know it is. For all purposes, it is Xigbar. It represents him."

"I see. This paperweight is representative of Xigbar…how?"  
Saïx covered his eyes and ground his teeth; it was like being slowly, gently flayed to death with scented bootlaces.

"Superior. Take it at face value. It is Xigbar."  
"It is not Xigbar. It is a glass sphere, used to hold down documents."  
"Imagine it! Try to imagine it as Xigbar!" Saïx repeated emphatically.

"…I cannot." Xemnas replied, after a lengthy pause. 

Saïx felt a small part of himself dying as he massaged his eyelids. He took a deep breath and sketched out a surprisingly awful picture on the back of the mission brief he had been given, of Xigbar in stick form, which he then attached to said paperweight.

"Does this help? This is Xigbar. Do you see? It is a paperweight, yes, but it represents Xigbar for this example." He prompted, almost pleadingly.

Xemnas looked at the picture, frowning; he could not, for the life of him, understand what Saïx was trying to do. The Diviner had been set a mission and had failed to complete it. Xemnas had asked him why he had been unable to complete such a simple task. Saïx was now waving a paperweight at him and insisting that it was Xigbar.

"…I…" he started. Saïx nodded encouragingly as Xemnas slowly picked up the glass sphere and examined it.

"It is no use, Seven. This is a paperweight. It is a paperweight, which has a crudely sketched representation of Xigbar attached to it; but it is still a paperweight."

Saix released a breath that he had not been aware that he had been holding and felt that part of him die fully and completely.

"Seven, why is it necessary to do this?" Xemnas asked listlessly; it was unusual for Saïx of all people to be vague about reports- normally, it was Nine or the ever-elusive Thirteen whom he had to drag information from…although usually, in both cases, Eight was present to speak for them. Every time he caught sight of that shock of red hair, Xemnas knew that he was going to get a report of ridiculous excess but ultimately of either complete, miserable failure or barely-an-accomplishment.

…So why was Seven, one of his most trusted members…acting so strangely…?

Saïx tried it once more, after a lengthy, awkward pause.  
"…Xemnas…"  
"…Yes?"  
"What is this, sir?" He asked slowly- lifting up the paperweight to eye-level. Xemnas looked at him with an expressionless face.

"That, Seven…? It is, was and always will be…a paperweight."

Saïx let out a strangled noise and stood from his chair, disappearing into a portal and making various noises of frustration on the way. Xemnas watched him leave and raised one shapely eyebrow as he pursed his lips.

"Bizaare." He commented to himself, shaking his head, before resuming his work.

---

Saïx didn't understand; his logic was perfectly sound- he couldn't explain in words that Xigbar had interrupted his carefully planned raid by scattering crowds after firing shots around for the hell of it. The idiot hadn't known that the Diviner had spent an age trying to coax all of the miserable peons of Agrabah into the central bazaar to let Nobodies loose on them all…The Freeshooter had taken out three men and a small dog and left considerable destruction in his wake…but he had only done it for the sport and enjoyment of terrifying large numbers of people. Saïx, if he had the capacity, would have been absolutely furious with him.

However…this was a pressing matter to which he had to attend. If he didn't, he knew he'd be spending the whole night pacing back and forth in his room and snarling. So it was off to the usual haunts of each Organisation member, paperweight in hand and a desperate need to be understood for once in his life.

---

"Eleven! Tell me- what is this!"

"…It's a paperweight, Saïx. With a picture of…something on it. Did you draw that? It's awful- take some lessons." Marluxia replied, one eyebrow raised and arms folded.

"No!" The Diviner hissed at him, pointing a clawed finger at the offending object and tapping it. "It's a representation of Xigbar!"

Marluxia's lips curved upwards as Saïx brandished the paperweight at him, then yawned.  
"Is that it? I'm a little busy, you know. Can we discuss this one some other time, maybe when it bears any relevance to anything?" He smirked, causing Saïx to growl at him and portal out of the gardens, looking for a better response.

---

"Uhmm…Uhm…Uhhh…Wait, wait…I know this one…!" Demyx mumbled, frowning and staring intently at his reflection in the paperweight. "Axel told me this one a while ago!"  
Saïx blinked, but ignored the comment- Demyx made little to no sense at the best of times.

"Uhh…Oh, gee…Oh…Aaah! Ahaah! I know! I know!" The Nocturne grinned inanely, pointing at the paperweight. "It's a paperweight! What do I win!?"

Saïx hissed at him and thrust the sphere at him again.  
"No! It is not! What is it!?"

"Uhh..Uh…Oh, oh man…I dunno…! Oh, ohhh…C'mon- I don't like being under pressure! C-can I have a hint? Pleeeease? Ohhh…uhhh…" Demyx whined, rubbing the back of his neck nervously and trying to avoid the piercing glare that Saïx was giving him.

"It is a person, Nine! You know him very well! You see him every single day!" Saïx growled. Demyx whimpered, then laughed as a sunny look of understanding dawned across his face. He took a deep breath and pointed at the picture. Saïx was holding his breath. Demyx wiggled his finger, opened his mouth, caught , then frowned.

"No…No, wait…Lemme think…I thought I had it…but this isn't him…"

Saïx looked dumbstruck; how it was possible for one male to be so completely oblivious to almost every around him, and yet to be so damned infuriating…it beggared belief.

"…Uh, nope. I guess I don't know." Demyx replied, shrugging.

Saïx debated killing him, but what would that achieve? Repercussions…and a mess on the floor…and also, it wouldn't be satisfying- much like kicking a puppy that loved you too much. As it stood, he simply said nothing and portalled out again, leaving Demyx looking confused in the hallway.

---

"This. Is. You!" Saïx growled.

"No, dude, I'm pretty sure that's a glass ball." Xigbar shrugged. "I can't see the resemblance…I know you ain't exactly the sharpest tool an' all…but even I know that's not me."  
"It is a representation of you!" Saïx replied angrily. Xigbar wagged a finger at him.

"Do I need t' make it more easy fer ya? Arright." He smirked, making exaggerated hand gestures. "That, Ball. Me, Xigbar. You, Saïx."

Saïx turned to Xaldin, who regarded him with a listless air over his book.

"Paperweight." Xaldin replied. "Now leave me be."

The Diviner spent no more time around the two than he had to and left quickly, starting to reach a point of frustration that was simply an eerie calmness.

---

"…Why are you showing me a paperweight, Seven…?" Zexion asked quietly, frowning.

---

"This? Mmm…this looks like Xigbar, maybe?" Lexaeus mused.  
"Yes!" Saïx yelped, ridiculously happy for someone with no emotions. "Yes!"

"A picture of Xigbar, taped to a paperweight." The taller male concluded, handing it back with an encouraging, humouring smile. Saïx's mood plummeted once again.

---

Vexen looked at Saïx.

Saïx looked at Vexen.

Vexen looked at the paperweight.

Saïx didn't wait for an answer.

---

"That had better not be mine." Larxene commented, glancing over at the worryingly sedate Diviner, clutching something rounded in his hands. "I don't care what it is, Saïx- it had just better not be mine."

---

"Mmm…That, I think, is the present you gave to Xemnas to apologise for sleeping with Marluxia." Luxord quipped.

"…Where did you hear that?"  
"I know these sorts of things. My lips are sealed, old boy, I assure you."

Saïx was not sure what reaction to take; he simply nodded and thanked Luxord for his time before leaving quietly.

---

Saïx had deliberately avoided Roxas, because wherever there was Roxas, there was almost always Axel. Axel was someone Saïx did not want to see; not now, not ever. The redhead riled him up more than anything else in the entire world- the last thing he wanted was to hear--

"Heyyyyyyyyy, budddyyyyy"

Saïx tensed up as a familiar drawl resounded through his head.

"What, I don't get a hello?" Axel grinned, sashaying up to Saïx and draping an arm around his shoulders. "That's not nice."

"Don't touch me." The Diviner hissed, hunching up. Axel tutted, but didn't remove the arm.

"C'mon…Since when did we last hang out, huh?"  
"I said, don't touch me!" Saïx repeated, clutching his paperweight tighter. Axel smirked and removed his arm, but not before grabbing the glass sphere and waltzing off with it. The bluenette snarled; for some reason- that paperweight now was the most important thing in the world. To have Axel touch it was like donating his heart to some back-alley slut whom he'd never even met the second he received it.

"What's this?" Axel snorted, ducking out of Saix's reach as the Diviner lunged at him. "Is this a crystal ball or something? Use it to see the future? Always knew you were a hippy; Luna Diviner-ing and all that."

Saïx made a noise that was more animal than anything else- and clenched his hands into fists. Axel stuck his tongue out and wiggled his hips, heading off down the corridor. Saïx lunged at him again, yanking that shock of hair back and making Axel yelp in pain and anger. The paperweight flew from the other's hands…

…and shattered on the floor.

"Ow! Owww! The fuck, man! Get off me! Owww!" Axel spat, trying to wrench Saix's hand away, but his superior stared at the broken shards, feeling a wrenching in his stomach that he didn't recognise. That glass ball had broken…and so had the floodgates of Saïx's sheer, animal fury.

When they found the Flurry and the Diviner, both were in a terrible state- Axel was barely recognisable under the gushing of his blood, twisted limbs and broken nose and Saïx was sporting deep gashes from chackram strikes. The Diviner was dragged away from the other, kicking and screaming and reaching desperately- both for the remains of the paperweight and for the man who had broken it. The last thing he remembered before blacking out was Xemnas, stooping to look at the shards.

---

"Saïx…"

Saïx mumbled in his sleep and groaned softly.  
"Seven. Wake up."   
"Mmrrr…."  
"Wake up."  
Slowly, the Diviner opened one bleary eye to catch sight of Xemnas, sat beside his bed on a chair. Blinking, the bluenette tried to establish where he was- finding himself in his room, but with his legs chained down firmly to the bed and his arms bound to his torso. 

"Xem…mm…Superior…" He attempted, trying to sit up, but being too tired to fight the chains binding him down. With a soft noise of displeasure, he sank back into the pillows and noticed that he was bandaged up.

"You've finally woken up." Xemnas stated. He wasn't good at small talk- it made him feel uncomfortable. "…That is a positive, I suppose."

"S-sir…" Saïx mumbled. "Th…Mmnng…ball…"  
"It shattered, I am aware." Xemnas replied with a nod. Saïx gave a soft groan and turned his head away.

"However." Xemnas added. "I have something for you."

Saïx frowned, looking up again as the Superior reached over and removed the chains that were binding his upper body. It was difficult to sit up, but manners dictated it- and thus Saïx achieved it.

"You…have?" He asked, confused. Xemnas nodded; for the briefest of moments, Saïx could have sworn that he had seen a fondness in Xemnas' eyes.

"Here." The older Nobody murmured, placing something into Saix's hands. The Diviner looked at it, then him.  
"…I…" He said quietly, not sure of what to say. It was a small, delicate glass ball- another paperweight. A replica of the other- with the drawing taped to it still.

"What is this…? A paperweight…?" He asked, confused. His breath hitched as Xemnas reached out one gloved hand to close the other's fingers over it, leaning in to murmur to him.

"No, Saïx…it is…Xigbar…"


End file.
